Hurricane Dorian

Hurricane Dorian was an extremely destructive and long-living Category 5 hurricane that struck the Gulf Coast of the United States in August 2019, causing catastrophic damage across all of North America. The storm's record-breaking low pressure system as well as bad voodoo magic precipitated the hurricane's sheer energy. The storm was the first major hurricane of the otherwise calm 2019 Atlantic hurricane season, as well as the most intense tropical cyclone on record to make landfall in the United States.

The storm originated over the Atlantic Ocean on August 11, 2019, from the merger of a black cloud of smoke from a passing ship's steam whistle and the remnants of discarded chicken bones floating in the water. Early on the following day, the newly formed tropical depression intensified into a Category 5 immediately and headed generally westward toward Florida. After very briefly weakening to a Category 2, Dorian began to pump iron and strengthened into a hypothetical Category 8 (although this status was recognized throughout the public, the National Weather Service never declared Dorian's strength past a maximum Category 5.) Throughout the rest of August, Dorian continued to mercilessly taunt and rip apart at the United States as if it were a string of tenderloin dangling above the black lips of a canine.